Unlike ooh, roughly 80% of the population it would appear, I don’t mind Mondays. Don’t choke on your Nescafe, you read that correctly – I don’t hate the first day of the week. Can’t stand Sunday nights if I don’t make a conscious effort to distract myself from what night of the week it is, but that is quite another matter to be discussed when I don’t have anything else to blog about. Ahem, possibly.
ANYWAYS, I digress, Monday’s are a not hideous because you get to make New Week’s Resolutions. They’re like New Year’s Resolutions only, For The Realistic, essentially. If you don’t stick to a new diet, exercise, healthy eating, not drinking, not shopping, not watching sh*t telly and reading more books regime then stuff it, just start again on the Monday = simples.
This week my regime is to Stop Using Having A Crap Aerial That Requires Serious Gymnastic Contortionist Skills To Get A Decent Picture As An Excuse To Watch Sh*t Telly. We’re on Day One and due to consumption of far too many Sour Skittles this afternoon, I’m afraid the E-numbers have left my brain far too jittery and ADD to be able to tolerate David Attenborough talking about a bunch of flies that are apparently good for the environment because they eat certain sort of lavae or something (I just heard mass buzzing and wigged out and switch channels to ANOTHER Live At The Apollo repeat, I confess).
Perhaps nature documentaries are a little bit ambitious for Day One. I refuse to watch I’m A Z-List Get Me An Iceland Ad Deal, X- Factor is allowed because it’s what people talk about when they have nothing in common and are lost for small talk. And also I’m hardcore and I Tweet along with Popjustice et all as I watch the various contestants murder whatever theme-based-around-a-prominent-album-release it is that week. Doing a running p*ss-take via Twitter keeps the essential ‘I’m only watching this because I’m into Pop Culture and find this whole experience deeply ironic, yah’ element to watching X Factor while feebly attempting to appear credible, obviously…ahem…
Seeing as BBC4 and More 4 are both only available when Nerdy Bloke Next Door goes out (he must have one hell of a powerful hard-drive, frankly – I get internet reception and everything when he’s out of town, it’s brilliant) and I’ve done some exceptionally bendy contortionism with the aerial, things are limited. Dave appears to be the channel of compromise if I’m trying to resist E4 and ITV2’s pure filth, tonight though? I admitted defeat after Miranda (surprisingly hilarious, mind you I should have known poking fun at the terminally middle-class would be a rich source of comedy, who doesn’t love Fawlty Towers for goodness sake) and switched on the radio instead. Tomorrow I’ll watch Requiem For A Dream instead. That I admittedly only bought in the HMV sale because it starts Jordan Catalano (sigh). Oh FFS, you have to start somewhere…
